headaches and grief

Day three of headache. Ugh. My whole face feels swollen and tight. The throbbing started this morning but I've had a headache lingering in the background since Monday.
I can only do one thing at a time and let Jesus take care of everything else. I finally took some Tylenol and it's helped.  I don't make it a habit to take pain killers.  Honestly because I'm afraid I'll get addicted to them.  So I don't take them unless it's an extreme case.

I've been trying to figure out what it is that is causing the headache but I haven't been able to. I'm under a lot of stress right now with work and my apartment and with my health insurance.  I don't know what each day will hold.

I want my trust to be complete. 

To not worry  or doubt. To know that everything has a purpose and will work out according to His purposes. It takes time to learn that. It takes a deep decision to pursue the peace that comes when you trust God. Last couple days I've forgotten what it is to let go and rest.
There are few situations in my life right now that I need to surrender. It's a daily battle. It's a scary test and it's not easy. but when the dust settles I want to be standing.

The thing is, grief has this unsettling way of popping it's ugly head up when you least expect it. It doesn't discriminate where you are or what you might be doing.  Today grief has hit me hard. And I'm stuck at work unable to truly deal with it.

I've been off work for a while earlier today. Spent the time reading and resting. There's a dull ache in my chest. I can't change the situations or the people, but I can still trust and pray that God will work His miracles. Letting go of someone you love, whether they've died or have just left your life, is the hardest tasks for the heart to do.  A broken heart have I.