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Saturday, July 4, 2020

current thoughts

I haven't sat down to write in a while. Not even in my personal journal. There's just too much going on these days in the world. I feel overwhelmed by it all. 
I could go off and state my opinions here but the thing about opinions is that everyone thinks they're the ones who are right. Which makes everyone else feel invalidated and inferior. 

That's not why I write. 

I write because it's healing. It's informative. It's my voice among billions. And yet, I am humbled that anyone would care to listen to my ramblings. 

I read some of my other posts and was struck by the emotions both in the writing and as I was reading. Grief still rears it's ugly head sometimes but I have come to see it more as an old friend than an enemy. You see, while I grieve, for those I have lost, for lost dreams and hopes, I truly FEEL. I feel the pain. I feel the sorrow. And that feeling shows me that I am very much alive. And that gives me hope. 
Because I could choose to let the pain swallow me until my heart shrivels. I could choose to not feel anything and become coldhearted. But to FEEL. 
Truly feel. That is living. 

We feel a lot of emotions these days with the current events going on. People dying. People sick. Fear. Uncertainty. Lost jobs. Riots. I could go on. It's tragedy after tragedy and it doesnt look like its going to stop anytime soon. 

I admit, sometimes I want to close my eyes and pretend that nothing is changing. But that's not reality and not helpful. More than that, I want to feel the emotions regarding the pain of our world. I want to open my eyes more and more so that I can see with clarity what needs to be done. I want to feel alive even in the midst of the pain and confusion. 

It's the only way we will rise from the ashes. To come out the other side and say "We made it.". TOGETHER. We can make it through. 

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