Touch and why we need connection

There is something about the sense of touch that impacts us all. From the very first time of being held, and even while in the womb, a baby experiences touch. We've all seen expectant mothers gently caressing their growing tummy. Then comes the birthing process and a baby is finally skin to skin with another human. And they are given to the mother who holds them tenderly at her breast. They come naked into this world and have years ahead of then to learn what life is about. But in that first skin to skin moment they know security, love and warmth. What the baby knows is limited to what they experience. The connection between mother and child is a bond that can never be broken. Forgotten, yes, but not broken.

Unfortunately not all babies are born with kind touches and gentle kisses. There are thousands of orphans who never have hadthat first connection with their mother. There are countless children who have had that first touch but thru circumstances have lost that connection. They lose their sense of safety around other people. These children become untrusting and troublemakers. It's all they know. To them, a touch is never gentle nor kind, but is manipulative and cruel. We blame them for something that they themselves alone cannot control, and turn around to blame the parents even they, too, never had the first connection with their mothers.

Today I learned about using our five senses to calm ourselves when in distress. For sight, hearing, taste and smell I did ok with coming up with ideas of how to use them. But touch. I struggled with. I have extremly sensitive hands. I believe it comes from years of working on art and using them to feel what I'm doing more than using my sight. I'm rough on my hands. My nails and cuticles are always damaged no matter what I do.But that doesn't keep me from using them. I started thinking about the things I touch on a daily basis. My face, my cat, my doorknob, my blanket etc. I can catalog every sensation that my fingers experience. But I struggle with receiving touches from other people. I accept hugs rarely and only if the person is someone I trust. I startle easy when someone touches my shoulder or arm especially if I didn't know they were behind me. There are certain people I keep a few feet distance from at all times. But at the same time, though i fear touch, I find myself craving it. Wanting to hold hands with someone I trust and love. Getting that kiss on the forehead or a short hug from someone I care about.

The thing is....there are so many people out there feeling the same way as I do. Wanting connection but fearing it as well. How do we fix this? By building trust with people. Communicating and listening to each other. The world needs more kindness and grace.

I'm not about to go hugging everyone I see, but I will change how I view others. They're just like me.