this brave girl: Crossroads

Disclaimer (Read HERE First)

Thank you for reading this blog! It is so nice to be able to share with you my life's journey and thoughts! Please leave me a comment at the bottom of the page or use the Contact Form.

WARNING!! This blog does contain a few references to sexual and emotional abuse. It also contains references to death, dying, suicide and depression. Do not read if this is a problem for you.

Any posted photos of my own personal art are not to be copied or used in or on any other form of communication or promotion. The photos remain as my own personal property. Please respect that. If you would like to share any of the art work, please contact me and I will consider your request.

I appreciate you for reading and for following the above requests.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Crossroads

I've been sitting here list'ning to the rythem
And flow of the traffic at the crossroads
Been waitin' for my turn to make a decision
Which way am I goin'? Where do I turn?
Or should I keep goin' on this journey?
To get to you
To get to you
To get to you.....
To get to you

I've watched the cars passing as I sat contemplating.
Memories of our time together flow like the tides of the ocean
I'm too far in this journey to be forgetting, its upsetting

But I know....
I've got to get to you
Get to you
Get to you

The traffic is stopped up behind me
And I don't care

My hearts racing wild with fear
So I put my foot to the pedal,
My eyes are straight ahead
And I turn, turn, turn,
And run away from you
Away from you, away from you
I run away from you.....

Time stops my heart for the seconds it takes to realize
That we might have had a chance but you'd forgotten me
Now I'm on my way
To find the rainbow
Away from you, away from you
And I can't stay to wait for you, wait for you

You broke my heart before we even began. And I loved you so much I didn't care.
But now as I hold the broken peices,
I'm not whole, I'm not free, but I've got to be. I've got to be.
Now its your turn to cry and regret me
But I don't care
And its your turn to be lonely
And I don't care

Now I'm leaving on this journey
To find myself, where I've always been.
Right here. Right here. On this road to my future.
My tail light reflect on the memories of our past. And I'm not gonna look back anymore.
I know you'll be ok when you realize I'm gone
And we'll be stronger apart from each other
So don't give up on this life
Don't despair that all is lost
We'll make it thru
Make it thru make it thru
I wish you happiness
I wish you peace
I wish yoy joy and all that encompasses the path beneath your feet
I'll be okay
I'll be okay
I'll be okay
This journey never ends

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Please remember to not use any profane language, sexual innuendos, or and other forms of derogatory communication. Thank you.

about this girl

Welcome to my Blog!

I am so glad that you are taking the time to read this blog. I write it because I need to have an outlet to the thoughts that rattle around in my brain. And I write it because I believe we can learn from each other's stories and experiences.

It is not my purpose to slam anyone or spread negativity, so read on with a grain of salt and remember that you are loved very much.

A little about me:

I am in my thirties, live on my own with my solid black cat, Larry. I am a self-taught artist and I love to share my art with others. Art, for me, is a way of dealing with all of life's complexities and I believe that everyone is an artist whether they know it or not. I love taking care of plants and animals. I like Wild Cherry Pepsi and my favorite color is purple. So, now that you know those things, that means we're more than acquaintances. ;)

A bit more about me:

I struggle with mental illness. I was first diagnosed in 2008, with Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Dyslexia, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. But I did nothing about it until after a mental breakdown where I was hospitalized in 2014 for a week. That was an awakening experience for me. Now, a few years later, thru therapy and medication and several more hospital stays; I was eventually diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Unspecified Dissociative Disorder. Through all of that, I can truly say that I am on the road to recovery.

It's been my version of hell. I kid you not. Only those who dare to be brave, if even for just a moment, can overcome the day to day battle of living with a mental illness. Living with Borderline Personality Disorder is not for weak people. Add all the other disorders and my life is no gentle drive through the country. It's more like a Nascar race on the freeway and I keep losing control of the car. Yeah. That bad.

But there are the good moments too. When I can embrace who I am and life becomes an experience rather than an observation.

I made this blog as a way for me to process and accept the ups and downs of my disorders. If I never am fully free of them, I at least want to experience some sort of peace even if only for a short time.

Who am I?

Some days I don't even know. Some days I do. Some days I just have to tell myself who I am just so I can get thru the day. Most of the time, this brave girl is still figuring it out.

this brave girl

Disclaimer (Read HERE First)

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Crossroads

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here's a good reminder:

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