dissociation

Dissociation is the worst defense mechanism; your brain is like “existing here in the real world is getting kinda difficult so how about you chill out here in the void instead.. oh is this an inopportune time? Are you in the middle of a conversation? Taking a test? Yeah? Ok great welcome to the v o i d”
- Comment on Borderline Personality Disorder and Beyond

This sums up the dissociation perfectly. The way that we can leave reality and exist in a void, where we can't be touched, we are in a place where safety is perceived but maybe not real. But it doesn't matter because in the void we are untouchable. Dissociation has a way of ruining relationships, destroying jobs, and ostracizing those of us who suffer from it. It's almost as if we live in a separate reality from the world. We think we're untouchable. We think that we're alone. We think that will always be this way and will always dissociate. But that's not true. There is hope. We are simply human, who happen to struggle with something much bigger than ourselves. But that makes us strong. To fight, and to live, and to keep going are the things that push us beyond our ability. The void that has been our safety, our refuge, and are way of processing the world around us, becomes unusual and unfamiliar to us as we learn to live in reality. Accepting things as they come, and believing that things can change is the only way that we can look at this world and live. We can get consumed by our fears and concerns, but that's not the way that we can live away that is wholesome and beautiful. It all comes down to choices. Even though most of the time we don't realize that we are dissociating, that doesn't give us an excuse to stay there. We don't have to stay in the void. We don't have to miss events in our lives or relationships that we have. We don't have to stay stuck in place that keeps us from moving forward. It's as simple as this, when you realize that you have dissociated, take the time to ground yourself by using your five senses. Taste, touch, sight, hearing, smelling, all are ways that can ground us to reality. It only takes a few minutes to use the five senses to get a grasp on reality and to leave the void. What do you have to lose? I struggle with dissociation. And it wreaks havoc on my life. But I'm not about to sit back and let it. I'm not going to allow it to control my life. That's why every time I realize that I'm dissociating, which is not all the time, but the moments that I do I lean towards using my senses to remind myself where I am and who I am. It's not easy. It's often full of tears. But I can guarantee but as I struggle in the end, I will be stronger.