life goals

Sometimes a dream has to die in order to make room for a better dream.

I don't know who said that, but it resonates within me.

What determines our life goals? 

Personality? Attributes? Likes or dislikes? Circumstances? 

Those are formed starting at a very young age. 

I can remember not liking green beans as a child. I still don't like them. But what made me think I don't like green beans? 

When I think of life goals or dreams, I think big picture. See the Grand Canyon. Learn to scuba dive. Learn a lamguage or travel somewhere in the world. I forget that those big dreams are made up of little goals. The way to move forward is in a single step. 

But what if those dreams stay only dreams? What if they can never come true? What then?

Do we just give up on our dreams? Let them die? 

All my life I have wanted to be one thing. An artist. I denied that dream for many years pursuing other's dreams for me. I even went to school and got a degree that now I am proud of but when I graduated felt empty. It wasn't my dream. Since then I have come to see how I have used my degree in Communications both personally and professionally. But still, that dream of being an artist is still lurking in my mind. 

Mind you, I work on art daily. Rarely selling any art but rather giving it away. I ask myself "why?". Why work at something that maybe isn't prpductive or profitable? 

And on the other side, why have I not pursued this dream professionally? Why have I not gone back to school for art? 

Those questions haunt me. But I know the answer. 

When I was a kid, I was always creating something. Drawing. Painting. Miniatures. Dolls. Whatever art and crafts I could get my hands on. It was a coping skill for me. I'd sit in front of the tv at night meticulously hand sewing doll clothes. i burnt my fingers on the hot glue gun making doll house stuff. I colored pictures and designed fashions. I made houses outside out of sticks and rocks. I pretend cooked with mud and plants I picked. The list goes on. 

You see, being an aritst is and was something I am, not just something I learned. Even though I have never taken an art class with the exception of 3rd grade art.....I taught myself. I was simply doing what I felt pulled towards. 

Back to what determines our dreams. I believe that our personalities, circumstances, attributes, and likes/dislikes all contribute to what become our life goals. Our dreams. 

I also believe that they can be shaped by our peers and the adults in our lives.

And this leads to more questions. 

What if I've neen doing the wrong thing? That its not my dream I'm living? Does that make my life null?

Not at all. Sometimes our dreams never come true. Sometimes we have a sacrifice our dreams. Sometimes our dreams are impossible. But they still are our life goals. They still are a part of us

If I had continued on the academic road and professionally used my degree, would I be denying my goal of being an artist? No. Because somehow. Someway. I would have found an outlet for that dream. Because its a part of who I am. 

I work on art every single day. Sometimes I share my art with others. Sometimes I stick it in a box and let it gather dust. I worl on art for myself. To satisfy that longing to be an artist. To appease the dream. 

And yes, I have other dreams. Ones that may never come true. But I'm ok with that because part of dreaming is in the planning and the dreaming of the goal. 

Don't give up on your life goals. Recognize that your dreams are part of you. 

And if a dream has to die, don't give up. There's always another dream to follow.