love without reservation

People think that they have figured out love. They define it and claim it to be the best and truest emotion of all. Reality is that we have only scratched the surface of the love emotion. We have separated it into various categories: a parent's love, a child's love, a lover's love, a familial love, a friendship love, the love of one human for another and so on. But none truly capture the whole essence of what love really is. Some say a chemical reaction while others say it's a gift from God. A person can love deeply and still not reach the true depths of the emotion until they love withholding nothing and without reservations. No hesitation, no calculating the risks, no explaining reasons why or why not. Simply love without boundaries. 

Jesus said that "Greater love has no one than this, but to lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

Ouch. It causes me to think about what are the limitations that I place on loving someone else? And why is a friend easier to love than a stranger? What makes friends better than everyone else? It's our perception of relationship and love that dictate these things. 

When a person makes the conscious and subconscious choice to love someone, they are, in a sense, saying that that person is worth more than anything or anyone else. A sense of belonging arises and both the lover and the loved share their lives with each other. That's why relationships take work and time. You can't expect to continue loving without making the sacrifices. Often daily sacrifices of letting go of self and embracing concepts like us and we and our. Togetherness is the ultimate feeling we all desire. To belong. To be loved. To be accepted. 

To love without holding anything back is to completely give yourself to the ones you love. No excuses. No strings. No manipulation. Just love through action and words. Love given freely without any fear. 

As someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder, love can sometimes be an elusive idea. You can tell me you love me, but until I experience that love in word and action, then those words hold no meaning. To love and be loved feels so unattainable to a person with Borderline that it seems completely hopeless. And we push people away whenever we start to feel or think that we aren't truly loved. It's a load of crap. Honestly. The more you push someone away the less opportunity you have to love and be loved. The lie that we are unlovavble is a parasite that devours us from the inside out it has be be removed. The only way to remove that thought pattern is to replace it with the truth.

Repeat after me,  I am loved. I am lovable. I deserve to be loved. 

Even if you don't believe it or feel it, those words are truth. It starts with you. Individually accepting that you are able to love and be loved paves the way for showing people those truths. We first have to love ourselves. It's not selfish to love and care for yourself. Our society says it's being selfish when you do things for yourself. It does depend on the spirit of why you do what you do if your intention is to be nice to yourself simply because you deserve to be loved, then you have a grasp on your worth. Self care or being nice to yourself is not selfish. For example, I am sick with a cold. Do I choose to not take care of myself and be miserable? No,  being nice to myself would be taking care of my needs while I'm sick. Or,  I am overwhelmed by my work. Do I just buckle up and take it? No, although I still get the work done  I also take small breaks andake sure I drink enough water. 

Taking care of yourself and being aware of your needs is a huge part of learning to love. You can't love other people unless you first love yourself. So will you choose to love withholding nothing and let yourself be loved?