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WARNING!! This blog does contain a few references to sexual and emotional abuse. It also contains references to death, dying, suicide and depression. Do not read if this is a problem for you.

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Sunday, July 31, 2016

emotions

I'm extra sensitive tonight. May be from being a girl. May be from missing my family. May be from longing for things I can't have. May be from my broken heart. May be a combination of things. The truth is that my heart is heavy tonight. And it's ok to feel these emotions. It's ok to feel lonely and sad. It's on to wonder if I'll ever find the happiness of a family if my own. It's ok to long for the relationship that will never again be. It's ok.

I've spent too many years of my life denying myself the privilege of showing emotions. I stuffed them deep down in myself where they were locked away. Now that I am learning that emotions are neither good or bad, and can be acceptable to feel. Sometimes I still feel so numb, that I'll never feel again. Sometimes I feel so intensely it's like having 3rd degree burns all over my body.
One thing I am learning is that to feel is to truly be alive.

In that case, I want to truly live every day.

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